Wife-Beaters

I see a lot of men wearing wife-beaters at the gym. I can understand where they’re coming from- I see the Calvin Klein ads (they’ve got a good one right now, whoa); I get that hot men are wearing them and pulling them off very well.

Did you read that?

I said HOT men.

Not skinny white dudes. Not fat bald men. Not men who think they should be models.

Hot men.

Men who act as body doubles for bloated actors. Men who pose in gay magazines. Men who pay more that $10 for a 3 pack of Fruit of the Loom.

If you don’t fit that description, then you look gross, and I have to turn my head when you talk to me because I’m uncomfortable. The thought of touching a weight machine after your white-trash body has sweated the whole thing up makes me want to vomit. You remind me of my grand-pa while he was shaving before he got dressed. Ew.