High School Reunion

A year or so ago, I was sitting at home googleing people I had gone to school with. I went to school with one guy (who we’ll call Corey) in particular that I was curious to find out what had happened to. He was a big nerd in school, I can’t even remember who his friends were. He moved from town in grade 9 or 10 and I’d never heard anything about him since. Given that he was a big nerd in school, I had assumed that he would be a lawyer or accountant or something lame like that. And I was correct. He works in corporate law.

So I found his company’s website and e-mailed him a quick note to say hello and reintroduce myself. I was surprised to see that responded rather promptly. He was living in New York, with his wife who was expecting a child any day. He said that he came to Toronto often, and that hopefully on a trip here, we could get together for a drink and catch up. We had actually made plans for the following week, but he cancelled because his wife was giving birth.

Then I never heard a peep from him for a year, where, out of the blue, he sent me an e-mail asking to hook up on his next visit, that week. I was quite excited. I love hanging out with people from my home town. Something so familiar about it.

So we met in the bar of the hotel he was staying at (some swanky place downtown). And spent about an hour and a half drinking martinis and talking about who we still know from school and what they are doing. My first clue that this guy wasn’t as sane as I would have liked, was when he described his social circle in school as the “cool kids”. Like I said before, I don’t think he had a social circle. I’ve actually since asked some of the people he said he hung out with if it was true, and they didn’t even remember him.

Then came the bomb. “Darcie, the real reason I wanted to ask you out for drinks tonight….” as he says this, I’m thinking, naively, that he wants something business related “….is that, well, my wife and I got married rather young….” Shit. Now I’m thinking his wife is upstairs wearing some sort of leather bondage outfit with a video camera set up “….and we’ve decided to have an open marriage. And I was hoping you’d be willing to participate” Ooooooohh. Right. I’m sure before he left for this trip, as she was feeding the baby, she yelled out “Don’t forget to get laid dear!”

Of course, as soon as he says this, the music in the bar shuts off and we are surrounded by dead silence. I yell up “Gonna need another drink here!” as I try to collect my composure. So I say “I’m flattered, really, I am, but I don’t know you that well, and I’m really not that kind of girl.” To which he responds with a tap on my leg “I’ll let you think about it.”

THINK ABOUT IT???? Gee, thanks, now that I have thought about it, I would love to help you cheat on your wife, destroy your family and ruin your child. That sounds like a grand ol’ time. Also, I’ve been waiting for some pre-maturely balding pot-bellied lawyer-type guy to come up to me and ask me for sex. There certainly aren’t enough of them around!

Was this guy for real??